Thursday, December 1, 2005


I am so frustrated with life today. I have been for awhile now due to my new job. If I had the means, I would actually burn the building down today. This company is full of jerks that don't have their acts together. How are you supposed to tell me to fix someone's printer over the phone when I've never seen the printer, never had training on it, and have NO documentation? And then get mad when I can't fix it!!!

Well, the only thing I know to do when I'm frustrated is pray. It comes out with difficulty and negative words. I basically tell God that I'm really pissed and wish everyone around me were dead. Then, I tell Him that I know He is in control and promises to work everything out in my life if I just trust Him and hang in there. Amen. That's it.

Did it help? No. I'm still pissed off at the world. Namely, a company who pays me good money to do a big job but doesn't give me the time of day to equip me how to do it. Also, I'm pissed at the retarded Wal-mart ladies who took 30 minutes to figure out how to make my credit card work and made me late coming back from lunch. I'm also pissed at the mechanic who tried to jip me on a simple brake job. Hell, I'm pissed at my dad for not dying from his stroke and making me think about him all the time. I'm pissed at my mom for raising me the way she did. I'm frustrated with so many people and situations.

With all that said, I know that it's gunna be ok. Philip was tested by Jesus in the Bible. Jesus was all, "Hey Phil, let's feed all these people." Yeah, I would have been frustrated, too. Jesus, you nutcase. We have enough money for a few people but not this crowd. You're supposed to be all smart and look what you're suggesting.

But, Jesus was cool as a cucumber because He all ready knew the plan. He took the little stuff they had and made it multiply. He didn't call Philip a knuclehead and make him sit on the bench for the rest of the game. Likewise, Jesus isn't freakin out that I'm so frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. He already knows how everything will work out and is allowing me to be stretched so that I can grow. I'm really pissed about it but it is for my own good.

So there. I hate you. I hate the world. But, my God is gunna bring me through this crap kicking and screaming. Maybe in a year, I'll be explaining to the new hires in the very first training class of my department how I made it through with no training and how lucky they are to have a teacher like me.

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