Sunday, August 5, 2007

pondering my mood

Preparing for my adventure that begins tomorrow, memories since moving back to ATL last winter are floating around in my head. Dominating my limited attention is the beautiful romance I shared with a terrific young lady. I didn't bargain for the heartbreak that has followed an intensely passionate journey yet I'm thankful all the same. So many lessons to be learned while exploring the art of loving others, it reminds me just how moving emotions can be. I wrote last year on this blog about loving with all your heart regardless of the consequences. It was easier to scribe those words at the time because my heart felt fine. I still believe it today, though it now comes with a lump in my throat. As Dave Matthews sings, don't burn the day away. Our lives are short and so very uncertain. I'll continue to live each day in the fullest way I know how. Sure, there are regrets at times. None of us really know what we're doing. While learning to go through a surprisingly difficult post-breakup depression, I'll still be the advocate for loving everyone without limits or boundaries.

And with that said, what a perfect time for this trip. I'm looking forward to blocks of several hours completely alone in the wilderness. Jesus made time to get away and hang out with the Father. I've sadly neglected that time with him this summer and I'd like to jump back in head-first. He's the source of my joy and healing so I need to just sorta chill with him and get my mind straight. Meetin the hippies will be a blast as well. My djembe has been acting as my nightstand for six months - what a tragedy.

As for my status, I'm off the market for awhile. This next season will be one of restoration and renewing: physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I'll probably write more often during the next several months so stay tuned for new episodes from my screwed up brain.

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