Sunday, October 22, 2006


One of the most influential men in my life, Chuck Flemming, once told me that there is no such thing as a platonic relationship between a man and a woman.

The topic came up tonight. The group of people I spent the evening with seemed to be much divided over the issue. Those who were married all agreed that no intimate friendships ought to take place with the opposite sex prior to marriage. The singles of the group held the opposite view that a guy and a girl can be close friends without a problem.

I didn't say much tonight about it. The truth is I don't really know the answer. On one hand, I want to believe that I can have an intimate friendship with a woman that never goes beyond just friendship. On the other, it concerns me that I may be giving away pieces of my heart that ought to be saved for the possibility of a wife. Looking backwards, I am hard pressed to recall friendships with females that did not have romantic feelings at some point along the way. Either she or I, after enough time, developed feelings that were either hidden, discussed and gotten over, or perhaps destroyed the friendship altogether.

If I were married tomorrow, what would happen to all of my female friends? Would I completely cut them off? Would my wife want me to? Would I be willing to? Would it be necessary or completely uncalled for?

It's interesting that this topic came up tonight. I'm taking a road trip to visit a female friend this week that I view as one of my best friends but nothing more. I'm curious if any of you have thoughts on this topic.

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